Work

Dan got fired a week after he gave his 2 week notice. I always liked his eyes. They were some mix of gold dust and coffee. They matched the dirt under his nails. Maybe manly maybe not. I liked Dan. Two days before I watched him shrug his shoulders and purse his lips and turn and walk away we talked about beating the system and fighting the man - we were on our 30 minute lunch break. Today reminds me of that conversation. I'm at my station, I'm looking into space. I'm dreaming. I woke up to my alarm. I've got the bastard set up so that I actually have to get out of bed to hit the snooze. After three four five six times exposing myself to the cold for only 6 minutes of bedspread it ceases to be worth it - and then I fall to the shower often at 4:45 in the morning.
I hate my job.
I hate my job.
I hate my job.
I'm at work. My supervisor can't get enough of me today. Maybe someday she'll get big enough balls to follow through with her threats, the cunt, and actually fire me. Apparently in this world we live by a system of points-write-ups-breaks-lunches-fast-food-I hate all of it.
I'm at lunch again. Fast food. Slow brain. This place is everything not good and I crave it. Hanker for it. Lust after it like Meth if I lived on the other side of the bridge. Like food if I lived on the other side of the world. Like sun if I lived in the North. Like shade if I lived in the South. As much as I call out against fast food and devil in a taco I dread leaving this place. I dread sliding my metal chair with rips in the vinyl seat across the tile floor, first established in 1985 you can tell by the pink striping, pulling away from my solitary table in the corner facing the busy road, throwing my inappropriately large amount of garbage for one single person, single meal, single serving, away and going back to work. It's back to the rat race. Once the saga of a twenty minute lunch time is over - because it's five minutes of walking and five minutes of clocking in - I am here. I am here in my department. I am looking at the my work, piled in front of me. I am dreaming.